As I walked into NYC's Museum of Sex, somewhat hesitant boyfriend in tow, to learn how to have anal sex from an expert, I knew I'd be getting more intimate with the idea of anal than I ever had before. The event, an Anal Sex class, was hosted by Alicia Sinclair, founder and CEO of b-Vibe , a company that makes premium, certified body-safe, healthy anal play products. The class was actually a product demonstration and training for Museum of Sex employees, who were going to start selling some of b-Vibe's new products, but some press like yours truly were invited to sit in and learn all about the literal ins-and-outs of butt sex. Aside from all the handy hygiene tips you can clean the inside of your butt?! Even though everyone can try anal, if you have no interest in anal play, that's totally OK, too. But if you're curious and want to know how to experiment with anal, here's everything you need to know about butt stuff. Despite the fact that anyone can enjoy anal play, it still isn't totally accepted as "normal" in our society — probably because no one is talking about all of the people who wear butt plugs to the grocery store, the many women who like rimjobs, or the straight men who enjoy being pegged. Instead, we have this skewed perception of who can enjoy anal, but truthfully, people of all genders and orientations can and do enjoy anal play of some kind.
1. Madison, 28
The Stigma Surrounding Anal Sex
We got women who fall on various parts of the anal sex spectrum to share exactly what it feels like during the act. Read on for their informative — and sometimes hilarious — opinions. But if you're not and you do it nice and slowly, it's euphoric. It's different from regular sex because it feels like he's going way deeper. Anal doesn't help me orgasm more easily, though. We maybe do it once every couple of months. There's nothing fun about it for me. It's not that it's painful, it's just mildly uncomfortable and really not my thing. At one point in high school, I was having more anal than regular sex. He feels bigger than ever and completely fills you up.
2. Kate, 33
I was in high school when Sex and the City premiered, and like many women of my generation and the generations that followed, that show taught me a lot about sex. I knew that gay men engaged in it, but I held on to some pretty old-school notions when it came to why straight women would do it. Whoever heard of Mrs. Up-the-Butt might reside. The experience was, for lack of a better word, awful.
It can feel like anal sex for women is the final frontier. But still, for some, anal is a big deal. But the fact remains that not only have many women tried it, but many women like anal sex. As Sinclair explains, not only is this narrative false, but it's also problematic in more than one way. For instance: that men have a bigger libido than women, that men coerce women into engaging in certain activities in the bedroom, etc. Such a narrative isn't just disingenuous, but puts limitations on what women are "allowed" to find pleasurable.